An epic battle with hills, children and wild beasts. Ride on!

Well this has been the most challenging stretch yet. I have gone over 300km from Gulu to Fort Portal through mountains with some pretty steep grades on mostly dirt road, which was both mentally and physically very challenging. After 6 days of not seeing another mzungu except for maybe two passing by tourist vehicles and being constantly harassed and chased by Ugandan children and adults who feel they are entitled to MY money, I have nestled into a place called the Dutchess in Fort Portal that serves, yet again, mzungu food. I am starving and want a friggin' pizza, or three. I'm not actually staying here as accommodations are through the roof, but the atmosphere is open to a lovely garden full of birds and I can stay here all day without any harassment from children and bodas. People in Fort Portal seem to be a bit more aggressive than in other parts of Uganda, they're more in your face. It's nice to hide sometimes when you are constantly sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of dark skin and corn rows.

Leaving BAP in Gulu. Such a great organization.

Tower of bricks, this is how they fire their bricks for use later.

Throughout this ~350km journey I discovered some pretty unique places and met some interesting faces. Let me start with Kamdini, the Houdini of Uganda as far as I'm concerned. I had never heard of this place and had I been going at a normal pace and had started at my usual early morning time I would have passed right through Kamdini without thinking much about it. Kamdini looks like every other little shit hole of a town in Uganda, lots of shops, little restaurants (or "hotels), guest houses, people everywhere, bodas, schools, church, etc. The works. Even after having stopped there, found a school, pitched my tent, washed, eaten, etc I didn't think anything of this town. It was just a stop over for me. However, the headmaster of the school I was staying at happened to be an interesting person and I wanted a beer, so we went out to the town to grab a beer. He proceeded to educate me on the fact that Kamdini is a huge hub for truckers. Anyone bringing goods to or from the Democratic Republic of Congo, South Sudan, Rwanda and throughout Uganda passes through here. Even those coming from Somalia and through Kenya come through Kamdini. All the drivers make a point of stopping at least for a meal because you can find all kinds of cuisine here as some of the travelers have settled here, so you have Somalians serving food Somali-style, Ethiopians serving Ethiopian food, Kenyas doing their thing, etc. It's fascinating. Who would have thought that this little shit hole of a town that looks like all the others is not like the others at all.

Baboon sitting outside a campsite.

From Kamdini I crossed the Nile river from east to west at Karuma where spectacular views of the rapids and surrounding jungle are provided, but apprently (and unbeknownst to me) prohibited to actually enjoy. I stopped on the bridge at Karuma stunned, naturally, by the beauty of the river. This was the first natural beauty I had seen in I think weeks! So I wanted to soak it in. But no, some dude dressed in camo with a gun came up to me and asked what I was doing? I said "Taking pictures." He replied saying I wasn't aloud to stay on the bridge and had to ask permission to take pictures here. "OK" I said, "But how I am supposed to know that? There aren't any signs or anything." An intelligent answer was not on the menu. So I huffed and moved on, only to stop a few meters up the road out of sight of the G.I. Joes. I watched some vervet monkeys cross the road, had a snack and snapped some more photos. I had been told enthusiastically by the teacher in Kamdini that a damn is to be built in Karuma. People need electricity, yes, but can't they invest in more solar panels? Or *better* solar panels not sold by the Chinese? (see my previous blog post describing the use and source of solar panels in Uganda: http://ecosystemsfornomads.blogspot.com/2014/03/shoes-stolen-fantastic-road-new-map-and.html).

The forbidden river I was not allowed to observe.

Think of the destruction that will occure once the damn is constructed.

The glorified plan for a "beautiful" damn...yay.

After staying in Kiranyandonga at another school with more watching, more whispering about the mzungu, more narrating my every move (both by school kids as well as teachers and even the headmaster), I said goodbye to tarmac for a while and found myself in a shrub land that reminded me a lot of the Otjiwarongo area of Namibia. It was beautiful! Rolling hills, great views, remote villages that don't have electricity. Tons of cattle with giant horns. There were even herding dogs! They are so cute! I hadn't seen dogs with a purpose in Uganda other than guard dogs. This was so nice to see humans working *together* with canines to get a job done. This is what dogs are for after all! I passed through Masindi, which pleasantly surprised me with it's infrastructure and nice hotels with lots of big trees, but teased me with maybe a kilometer of tarmac.

The bigginning of the end of tarmac

As you can see, quite arid and different from the luscious forest found around the Nile river.

Very cool landscape.

Vast views in the distant background.

Schools exist in random places.

Large herd of cattle with large horns! Dogs faithfully herding along side humans.

This is the kind of map I'm talking about! This one is on the *outside* of the school....we need more and on the *inside* of the classrooms to show kids where CANADA is! See my previous post.

First sign of hills!!!

I stayed in Bwijanga for a night. Oh Bwijanga, Bwijanga, Bwijanga. This place is a little bit fucked. I stopped to ask the police officers if they knew of a nearby school because this town was tiny, but I couldn't find any obvious school that was right off the main road. I was exhausted as I had traveled over 70km that day with what I thought at the time were pretty good hills, but will later realize that that was just a warm-up. The officers proceeded to interrogate me: where am I from (often meaning where did you travel from that day, rather than where my native place of residence lies)? What am I doing in uganda? Why am I looking for a school? After answering their pestering questions I expected them to kindly directly me to the nearest school, but they remained hesitant. This was confusing to me as I am used to the overly hospitible and helpful Ugandas who go out of their way to find me what I'm looking for. Turns out I fit the profile of a suicide bomber...yup, blond, blue-eyed Canadian traveling by bicycle in a tiny ass town is looking to bomb your school of maybe 100 children. Why, I asked, do you think I am going to bomb your school? I explained I had been staying in schools all over Uganda and no one had ever expressed such a concern to me. "The Ugandan government encourages us to be extra precautious as to avoid bombings madam." I asked them if they had ever received any bomb threats in Bwijanga. No of course they hadn't. "When was the last time Uganda was threatened with a bomb attack?" I asked. Back in the 2010 World Cup. I see, so the World Cup that is filled with millions of people and situated in a strategic and ecologically, politically, historically important place was threatened with a bomb and you're worried that Bwijanga, a town that has one road that stretches a total of 100m, is a target? "Yes." How logical, I think to myself. It took some convincing, but they eventually pointed me in the direction to their secondary school, where I was interogated with the same vigour. What the hell is going on, I thought. Did Uganda recently receive bomb threats? Should *I* be concerned about bomb threats in Uganda right now? I couldn't understand that if it was so "strongly encouraged" by the Ugandan government to carefully screen visitors to make sure they didn't bomb their schools, why had it taken 5 weeks of traveling throughout the country for me to first encounter such questioning? I was puzzled to say the least. I was quickly distracted, however, upon settling into the secondary school when the kids at this school gathered viciously and the people of authority quickly dissapeared. Great. I have to deal with 70 ridiculously curious teenagers on my own...A swarm of girls surrounded me as I started to set-up my stove. They asked me one million questions while I cooked and ate. They ended up giving me some free food -posho and beans, yumm!- and asked if they could have some of my instant noodles...I don't think one packet can serve 20 people unfortunately. They understood. I asked them some questions myself, like What do they want to be when they grow up? One said she wanted to be a magician, another said a prostitute. After a couple of "performances" by the prospective magician that consisted of terrible dancing and singing, I realized she meant "musician" and tried to explain what "magician" meant. Not easy when your audience doesn't have enough electricity to watch movies or TV, so have probably never even seen a magician and had never heard of Harry Potter. Luckily, the prospective prostitute was joking. Funny sense of humour. All of the 20 or so girls wanted me to take them with me to Canada. I explained that I would be happy to if they paid for the $1000 flight and got their visas in order. They laughed profusely (just as they did everything I said or did, including taking a bite of the food they gave me). People that ask me to take them with me to Canada do not realize that it's not as easy as just holding hands and walking over the Atlantic Ocean...there's a heavy price and burocraucy that is completely out of my control. And since I was speaking to all girls in this particular scenario and given the current laws in Uganda, marriage is out of the question. And then there's the fact that I don't want to marry a Ugandan, but that doesn't seem to matter EVER. I find it especially amusing when I refuse to marry a Ugandan to bring them with me and they assume it's because I only like white/western people! When the girls finally accepted that they were not coming with me to Canada I said I was going to bed and they had to leave me alone now (since for the last hour I was litterally trapped in a thick circle of screaming, screeching teenage girls and one old man in the background -the trusty nightwatchman), but they had just one last little request: that I look at each and every one of their photo albums. Uh, no. That would take days and, uh no thank you. Anyways, although I was tucked into a beautiful valley with luscious greenery all around me and a beautiful sunrise, I wasn't heartbroken when I had to leave crazy crazy Bwijanga the next morning.

Bwijanga in the morning.

Ready to head out with my Surly Troll.

A small hill coming up!

Moving through the last major town I would see for a couple of days before I reach Fort Portal, Hoima, I was teased again with a kilometer of tarmac and proceeded to wrench my quads up and down, up and down the tireless slopes in the foothills of the Rwenzories. The Rwenzories are Uganda's and Congo's tallest mountains. They're quite epic actually, strategically placed between the DRC and Uganda creating an overwhelming geographic barrier between the two countries. Mount Stanely shamelessly stands as the tallest of the Mountains of the Moon as they're often called at 5,109 meters, of course named after the famous explorer. This is the third tallest peak in Africa after Kilimanjaro and Mt. Kenya. I wish I could go climb this mountain range as it sounds and looks so tempting. Time and money, however, are not on my side and as long as I come back before the year 2025 I might be able to see the last remaining 2.5 glaciers of the once 6 well-established blocks of ice. Thank you climate change.

You would think that cycling through these foothills with gorgeous views at every ascent would be peaceful and fulfilling. It's hard to find peace when there are people EVERYWHERE! And most of them are YELLING at you at the top of their lungs "MZUNGU! MZUNGU! GIVE ME MONEY!" One guy actually stopped in his tracks when he saw my bike as I was sitting and having a snack, then when I told him to stop starring and to please move on, he did only to turn around again and demand I give him my food. Sure, I'll give you my food for free, then what am I supposed to do in these remote hills? Are you climbing up and down these hills for 60-80km a day on a bike? Why should I have to give you my food that I need to fuel my only means of transport? He actually felt entitled enough to my food that he wouldn't leave, so I did. I said in an earlier post that it's cute when kids call out "mzungu", but these kids in the hills are insane, they're screetching while running after you and seriously think a) they deserve free money and b) I'm going to give them free money. Yes, it's sad and I feel bad for these kids since they are extremely poor and I'll never fully understand the conditions they live in, some of them will die of AIDS, malaria, other diseases, hunger and will always be hungry and probably thirsty for perhaps the rest of their lives. What, as westerners, have we done? I wish we could go back in time and change our whole approach to "saving" Africa. The image we have portrayed has allowed local people and now their kids to equate white skin with dollar signs. Instead they should be encouraged to be innovative and work hard so they can earn money of their own. It's not impossible here in Uganda, there are opportunities. A large barrier of course is getting to the centres that offer such opportunities, but it's not impossible. It's really sad to see the same kind of shop over and over again and right next to each other with no variation what so ever. They even have the same colours and fonts on their signs. Why do all shops selling stationary have to be on the same block while all supermarkets on another block? Wouldn't it make sense to spread out a bit? What about selling something other people don't sell? What about not spending your money on extensions and intead saving that money to get to Kampala to make a real living? OK, I know, it's easy for me to say all of this and there are lots of factors that hinder the average village person here from making a descent wage. But don't expect free money. That doesn't help anyone. It's not sustainable, the money I gave would be gone in a flash and then what? You're back where you started because you went out and bought some sugar cane. Better yet, how can each child expect to get money from me? If I caved for every person that asked me, I would be in serious debt right now. Nothing about this strategy makes sense to me. Do I sound jaded? Annoyed? Bitter? Like I said, it was a tough stretch. Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing and hope to travel most of the world by bicycle, but not everything is butterflies and rainbows no matter how you're traveling and this is all part of the experience. Travel is the best kind of education there is. I would not be able to discern kids from these hillls from those in eastern and southern Uganda had I not traveled by bicycle through each area and seen the different attitudes towards mzungus myself. 

So after another tiresome day complete with screaming children and rollercoaster hills, I found a school that looked very nice, with lots of big trees and relatively peaceful. It was a Friday, so the kids are obviously excited. This, however, was not a boarding school, which are usually what I go to because they are used to having people stay overnight and are therefore more accommodating. But boarding schools are hard to come by in these hills. The woman in charge was very sweet and concerned for my safety, so she suggested I stay in the reverend's house where there is a night watchman and the reverend's family lives there. OK, let's go there. Turns out it's two buildings over, so I don't kow what the fuss was about haha. It was nice staying at a non-boarding school because all the kids WENT HOME at night! Amazing! I didn't have ANYONE stare at me while I was putting up my tent, setting up my stove, cooking or eating! Fantastic. I celebrated by making popcorn. Let me tell you, I am a friggin' professional when it comes to making popcorn, well turns out those skills transfer to camping stoves as well. I was so proud. Additionally, the evening was cool. Lovely, I fell asleep like a wee babe. And then I woke up in the middle of the night to an terrifying animal outside my tent, trapesing around the reverend's yard...I still have no idea what it was, but it sounded rabid and dog-like. It made scary drool-filled deep growls while it jutted back and forth in an insane manner, always moving quickly, but not as quickly as my heart was beating. I lay frozen stiff, hoping the animal is afraid of my tent and is not intrigued by my scent. I was hoping he wouldn't be interested in my bike or panniers that was leaning against the reverend's house. After what felt like an hour, I no longer heard the heavy breathing in the distance or neighbouring dogs barking at the unidentified crazed thing roaming around their territory. I fell asleep and awoke in the morning with no sign of the animal ever having made an appearance. The night watchman had no idea the animal was around, good thing he gets paid, so I was the only one to know that there was anything out there in the night. Not comforting, but nothing happened, so just another story to tell. I moved on to my last stop before reaching Fort Portal: Kyamutunz...or something like that. It's not on the map and there was one sign describing a shop that belonged to this town, but no sign for the town itself. 

My home at the reverend's house.

Perfect popcorn.

I stayed on church grounds in what I will call Kyamutunz. This was nice, because again, a serious lack of staring children and teachers. Just a small handful, which is manageable. I slept under jackfruit trees, well not directly under them because I didn't want one falling on me and my tent. I had nice views of hills across a big valley I had just descended into and crossed. The descent was huge, lasted for probably 5 minutes straight. That was fun, but meant exactly what I thought it was going to mean as I was going down: mostly uphill the next day. Good thing I was woken up by army ants in my tent, sleeping bag, everything so I could start the day right. I ended up having to litterally drag my tent while running to get away from the ants so I could take it down. It was hilarious.

The first 35km of the last day of this long stretch took me 4 and a half hours, because as I said, it was mostly uphill. You should have seen me when I reached the tarmac road that lead to Fort Portal. I've never been so happy to see tarmac. It was an amazing feeling on the bum and the everything. In fact the last 48km to Fort Portal was a dream. Yes, there were still huge hills, but it was a breeze on tarmac compared to the dirt roads and the views were incredible AND there was the least amount of traffic I've experienced in Uganda so far! THIS was the peace I had been longing for for the past 6 days. No yelling, no harassment, no asking for money. The tea plantations are beautiful and expansive, which is pleasant on the eyes, but you know there was a huge price to put those plantations there. I saw the contrast when I got to ride through a bit of Kibale National Park!!! This was incredible! Within just a couple of meters of enetering the park I saw two troops of red tail monkeys and one troop of baboons! And a squirrel!! I got a little too close to the baboons as I stupidly thought I could take a picture without them noticing, but people obviously feed the baboons here even though there are signs saying not to. Sounds like the bears in western Canada. As soon as I started rumaging for my ipad in my handlebar bag, the baboons started running for me from all directions, they obviously thought I was getting out food. I decided to abandon the idea of taking a picture and move on. Baboons are big and scary, I don't want to dissapoint them...

The last day was the most scenic day right from the start:

Kibale national Park jungle coming into view!

There's a monkey in this picture somewhere, if you can find it let me know!

Stopped every couple of meters to take a picture. Riding through a national park is awesome! But I would never get anywhere if the whole country actually looked like it's supposed to look -like this.

I've seen some interesting things on bicycles and motorcycles here in Uganda, plenty of bananas, pineapples, giant bags of rice/popcorn/cassava/sugarcane/etc. I've seen chairs and other furniture, but never a bed..until now. This crazy dude is carrying a bed by motorbike!

The Rwenzoris! And tea plantation in the foreground. Tea plants to Uganda seems to be like what grapes are to California....

Riding through Kibale NP was a serious highlight of the trip so far. It didn't last long enough as I just went through a tiny northern tip, but I will be going IN IT today! I'm very excited! It's such beautiful pristine jungle complete with tall trees, vines, mosses, river, teaming with birds. It's going to be an epic few days riding to Kyanawara research site, staying there fore a couple of nights, then checking out the crater lakes, heading to Queen Elizabether National Park, maybe Bwindi then Rwanda! Yes, I've decided not only do I have time to visit Rwanda, but it's actually a shorter route to get to Kigali than for me to loop all the way back to Entebbe.

Here is an update for my map and where I've been!

http://trackmytour.com/PjJ7r